我发现我真的很挫，发Email给Ben找他帮我改推荐信
结果把名字打成了Ban。
我在想他看到Email的那刻肯定很抓狂。。。。
Monica
Your English was good before, but this personal statement really impressed me.? I have done a lot of editing, but don't be discouraged by the number of marks.? I edit many, many statements and papers for friends and other students, and have gotten very thorough.? Yours, frankly, is? structured better and has better support than some of my friends who are native speakers.?
A few words of advice:?
1) Structure: Often, personal statements aren't meant to be QUITE as structured as your is.?? It's not bad that you have structured it well, but perhaps you should take out the large headings.? These are often meant to be a bit personal and don't need to be quite as rigid, you know?? Your choice.
2)? You repeat yourself often, and you shouldn't.? The review board knows you're interested in economics, or else you wouldn't be applying.? You give good examples to support your interest; let that be enough.? Tell them you're interested just once, them explain WHY and emphasize that.? You've done a good job of that with your examples of studies you've conducted.? Talk a bit about why those were important to you as a researcher.
Otherwise, it's really very good, and it makes you sound both experienced and intelligent, which is exactly what you need.? Good job!? I didn't know you were studying international economics; that's my focus in my econ degree as well!? I haven't done nearly the research and stuff that you have though--it's fantastic that you've been able to do all that.? I've been so focused on my english thesis...heh.? I'll be applying for a Ph.D. in English at the Ivy leaguers next year (I'm taking a year off).? Here's hoping we can both get in!
I'm actually thinking of coming back to China this summer after I graduate--I'm looking for a job/internship in journalism or business/economics.? The whole world is suffering economically though, and it's awfully tough to get a job. Did a bunch of interviews here only to have them tell me "Sorry, you're great, we just can't hire you this year.? Any other year..."? It's sad.?
I hope you're doing well.? I'd love to hear how your life has been recently.
Good luck with this application.? I think you have a good chance!
-Ben
--
LSA Honors 2009
Economics and English Honors
Your English was good before, but this personal statement really impressed me.? I have done a lot of editing, but don't be discouraged by the number of marks.? I edit many, many statements and papers for friends and other students, and have gotten very thorough.? Yours, frankly, is? structured better and has better support than some of my friends who are native speakers.?
A few words of advice:?
1) Structure: Often, personal statements aren't meant to be QUITE as structured as your is.?? It's not bad that you have structured it well, but perhaps you should take out the large headings.? These are often meant to be a bit personal and don't need to be quite as rigid, you know?? Your choice.
2)? You repeat yourself often, and you shouldn't.? The review board knows you're interested in economics, or else you wouldn't be applying.? You give good examples to support your interest; let that be enough.? Tell them you're interested just once, them explain WHY and emphasize that.? You've done a good job of that with your examples of studies you've conducted.? Talk a bit about why those were important to you as a researcher.
Otherwise, it's really very good, and it makes you sound both experienced and intelligent, which is exactly what you need.? Good job!? I didn't know you were studying international economics; that's my focus in my econ degree as well!? I haven't done nearly the research and stuff that you have though--it's fantastic that you've been able to do all that.? I've been so focused on my english thesis...heh.? I'll be applying for a Ph.D. in English at the Ivy leaguers next year (I'm taking a year off).? Here's hoping we can both get in!
I'm actually thinking of coming back to China this summer after I graduate--I'm looking for a job/internship in journalism or business/economics.? The whole world is suffering economically though, and it's awfully tough to get a job. Did a bunch of interviews here only to have them tell me "Sorry, you're great, we just can't hire you this year.? Any other year..."? It's sad.?
I hope you're doing well.? I'd love to hear how your life has been recently.
Good luck with this application.? I think you have a good chance!
-Ben
--
LSA Honors 2009
Economics and English Honors
我很内疚\r很内疚没有给你那个什么PS的吧的意见。\r我一直记着呢\r\r但是最近真的是太慌乱。\r机票签证工资全是问题。。。\r抱歉抱歉等我裹完啦一定将功补过。\r
ReplyDeleteHelloMonica,一位陌生人，也即将前往波兰的K-4实习。给你发了邮件，想找你取取经。
ReplyDelete